"13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" ~AMY MORIN.

Train your brain for happiness and success

Book Summary 

To improve a specific aspect of your life, it's essential to dedicate yourself fully to the actions and steps that will lead to success. Just as regular exercise builds physical strength, there are strategies to strengthen your mind. Psychotherapist Amy Morin, drawing on her extensive experience in counseling and personal losses at a young age, identifies key attributes that mentally strong people possess. In her book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do”, Morin offers valuable insights on how to master mental strength and navigate challenging times.

In each chapter, Morin begins with a story, often drawn from her personal experiences as a therapist, which relates to the topic she will address. Many of these stories are not only informative but also deeply inspirational, providing real-world context to the strategies she outlines.

The benefits of cultivating mental strength are profound. These include increased resilience to stress, improved life satisfaction, and enhanced performance in both personal and professional spheres. By adopting these strategies, you can build the mental fortitude needed to overcome adversity and thrive in the face of challenges.

The book consists of 13 chapters, each focusing on one behavior that mentally strong people avoid. These 13 principles outline habits that can help us find better ways to cope with life's challenges, ultimately guiding us toward becoming better versions of ourselves each day.

Developing mental strength involves enhancing your ability to regulate emotions, manage thoughts, and maintain positive behaviors, regardless of the circumstances. While factors such as genetics, personality, and past experiences may influence this process, anyone can work to strengthen their mental resilience.

To fully understand mental strength, it’s important to recognize how your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions are interconnected and impact one another.

Mentally strong individuals share several key traits:

• They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves.

Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive. Self-pity has negative consequences such as: it's a waste of time, it leads to more negative emotions, it can become self-fulfilling prophecy, it prevents you from dealing with other emotions, it causes you to overlook the good in your life, it interferes with relationships. Instead of feeling sorry for your self exchange it with gratitude. Gratitude is a positive attitude that boosts your inner satisfaction. Be grateful even things you think are minor, for example if you are reading this blog-post, it means you are more fortunate than the nearly one billion people in the world who can't read. You could practice gratitude by building habits such as: keeping a gratitude journal, listing what you are grateful for, asking others what they are grateful for.

• They don't give away their power.

They maintain control over their emotions, reactions, and decisions. They do not allow others or external circumstances to dictate how they feel or act. Problems associated with giving away your power are: dependence of others to regulate your feelings, letting other people define your self-worth, avoiding to address your real problems, becoming a victim of your circumstances, being highly sensitive to criticism, losing sight of your goals. To reclaim your power you could: use language that acknowledges your choice, set healthy emotional and physical boundaries with people, choose to forgive individuals, examine feedback and criticism without jumping to conclusions.  

• They don't shy away from change.

Change is a fundamental thing in life whether you want it or not. Mentally strong people practice adapting small changes that may arise to be better prepared in dealing with the large inevitable changes that come your way. Shying away from change can have serious consequences like: staying the same often, you won't learn new things, your life may not get better, you won't challenge yourself to develop healthier habits, other people will outgrow you. 

You could prepare for making change by following these steps:- create a goal for what you would like to accomplish in the next thirty days, establish concrete behavior changes you can make to reach that goal each day, anticipate obstacles along the way, establish accountability, monitor your progress.

• They don't focus on things they can't control.

They develop a balanced sense of control rather than trying to control everything. Problems such as increased anxiety, wasting time and energy, judging others harshly and unnecessarily blaming yourself for everything. Those who strike the right balance of control recognize how their behaviors can affect their chances of success but also they identify how external factors, such as being in the right place at the right time, can play role.

• They don't worry about pleasing everyone.

Sometimes the desire to avoid conflict stems from childhood. if you were raised by parents who were constantly bickering, you may have learned that conflict is bad and keeping people happy is the best way to prevent arguments. Putting other people first can become away to feel needed and important. You could think that you're worth something if you can make other people feel happy. Bronnie ware, an Australian nurse who spent many years working with patients who were dying, cites people pleasing as one of the biggest regrets she heard her patients share on their deathbeds. In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she explains how dying people often said they wished they had lived a more authentic life.

• They don't fear taking calculated risks.

Mentally strong people embrace the idea of taking calculated risks because they understand that growth and progress often require stepping outside their comfort zones. They carefully analyze the potential benefits and drawbacks of a situation and make informed decisions based on evidence, not fear. By weighing their options thoughtfully, they move forward with confidence, knowing that risks are part of achieving meaningful goals.

• They don't dwell on the past.

Rather than letting past mistakes or hardships define them, mentally strong individuals focus on the present and the future. They recognize that while they can’t change what has already happened, they can learn valuable lessons from it. By releasing feelings of regret, anger, or sadness tied to the past, they free themselves to fully engage in opportunities and challenges that lie ahead.

• They don't make the same mistakes over and over.

Mentally strong people view mistakes as opportunities for learning and improvement. Instead of ignoring or repeating poor decisions, they take time to reflect on what went wrong and how to avoid similar errors in the future. This self-awareness and willingness to adapt enable them to grow and make better choices over time.

• They don't resent other people's success.

Jealousy or bitterness toward others' achievements has no place in the mindset of mentally strong individuals. They celebrate and learn from others' successes, using them as inspiration for their own journey. By avoiding comparison and focusing on their unique goals, they channel their energy into personal progress rather than negative emotions.

• They don't give up after the first failure.

Failure is seen as a stepping stone rather than an endpoint by mentally strong people. They understand that setbacks are a natural part of the process toward success and use each failure as an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser. Resilience allows them to persevere, adapt, and ultimately achieve their goals, no matter how many attempts it takes.

• They don't fear alone time.

Solitude is not something to be avoided for mentally strong individuals—it’s embraced as an opportunity for self-reflection, creativity, and personal growth. They use alone time to recharge, set goals, and focus on their mental and emotional well-being. By being comfortable in their own, they strengthen their independence and self-awareness.

• They don't feel the world owes them anything.

Mentally strong people take responsibility for creating their own opportunities and success. They avoid entitlement and understand that effort, persistence, and dedication are required to achieve their goals. Instead of waiting for life to hand them what they want, they take proactive steps to build the life they envision. 

• They don't expect immediate results.

Patience is a key trait of mentally strong individuals. They understand that significant achievements take time and effort, and they are willing to invest in long-term goals. Instead of becoming discouraged by slow progress, they remain focused, disciplined, and committed to the process, knowing that persistence is essential to achieving meaningful results.

Conclusion

Developing mental strength isn't about having to be the best at everything. It also isn't about earning the most money or achieving the biggest accomplishments. Instead, developing mental strength means knowing that you'll be okay no matter what happens. Whether you're facing serious personal problems, a financial crisis, or a family tragedy, you'll be best prepared for whatever circumstances you encounter when you're mentally strong. Not only will you be ready to deal with the realities of life, but you'll be able to live according to your values no matter what life throws your way.

When you become mentally strong, you will be your best self, have the courage to do what's right, and develop a true comfort with who you are and what you are capable of achieving. 

The End.